I come from a family with strong personalities. I myself have a strong personality. If there is one thing I hated about myself for most of my life it was first my personality and second my body. It took years of therapy for me to get through my own self hatred. Most of this was directed at my own personality. I am sad to say I have walked through my life with more disgust of myself than love.
How have I learned to deal with this? I first had to come to terms with the fact that God made me this way. I am God’s creation. Whether I liked myself or not God loves me as I was. He accepted me as I was. If God loves and accepted me, how was I not to do the same?
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139:13-16
I then dealt with the feeling that God loved me and accepted me but no one else did. I struggled with the fact that God was set apart from me while I was still living. I struggled with the knowledge that I would possibly very well live a long life and God’s love did not feel like a real presence in my daily life. My husband has done a miracle in rectifying this problem. His love is not perfect. His acceptance is not perfect but I have felt the love of God through him.
It has been his continual presence in my life that reminds me that first and foremost God created me, loves me and accepts me. Second my husband choose me, loves me and accepts me.
I still have days I struggle with my old feels of dislike of myself but it is not as strong as it once was. It is becoming a more distant memory as I form new happy memories with my husband and 2 puppies.
So to all those who struggle with loving themselves. For all those who struggle with accepting who and what they are may you find peace that the creator of the universe made you and adores you. May you learn to love yourself as God loves you. May he send a person to love you in a way that you feel God love in a real and tangible way. And to all may we work to love others. Amen