Reconciliation

Reconciling with people is extremely hard. I have wondered many many times how do we reconcile with people? For me in particular I want reconciliation but I never seem to be able to do it. I have asked God many many times why? I do not seem to have a problem reconciling with my husband or even my in laws but I do seem to have problems reconciling with everyone else. Why is this?

The conclusion I am drawing is that reconciling requires a certain amount of respect, honesty and mutual understanding. This is what I have with my husband. We sit together in calm manner, open to receive the others thoughts/feelings and talk about the disagreement. There is always mutual respect, listening, learning and eventually at the end we resolve the issue. We reconcile.

But it always takes 2 sides. For if either of us are not willing to respect the other, give the other a listening ear and be open to another point of view we will never be able to reconcile.

So what do we do when we cannot reconcile? What about when one side is not willing or oblivious to the need to reconcile in the first place? Well the modern legal system is sometimes needed. Professional counseling is sometimes helpful. Prayer is essential.

But ultimately human relationships are complicated. When we are unable to reconcile we have to find a way to forgive, give our anger to God and let go of the past. This is sometimes extremely difficult but it is our calling by God. For me I have tried to wish away my unforgiveness, anger and resentment only to find it does not work. I pray God would give me a heart of forgiveness and the ability to trust again. I keep praying this prayer and will for as long as required.

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.” Matthew 5:21-26

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