Something my husband and I have discussed repeatedly is the idea of being set apart but not segregated. For Jesus did not segregate himself for sinners rather he eat, drank and meet with them. That being said he did not partake in their sin rather lived among them as a light unto the world.
I have told my husband numerous times that I feel called to be a light among the darkness rather then living a peaceful life bathing in the sun. I cannot even explain why I feel this way. I just feel most at home and at peace among those in the darkness. For Jesus did not come for those in the light, he came for those in the darkness.
Living in the dark places of this world is not an easy task. For we will be tempted and we must have a strong foundation in the Lord to resist the darkness. For if our light goes out in the darkness then we are in deep trouble. I feel like this is the reason God gifted me my husband for it is his job to protect the light inside me and I his.
So what does it mean to be a light but walk among the darkness? Jesus is the ultimate example. To me it means I am to live among others that do not know Jesus, love them, care for them, teach them, help them, heal them, so that they may know Jesus.
This is no easy task. It is hard work, draining and exhausting. And unlike Jesus I have not died on a cross as of yet. This means that we must take time to rest, relax, sleep and be among the light for periods of time so that we may be refilled and healed from our battles with the darkness. For in my experience the only one that completely walked in darkness and came out untouched was Jesus. I am no Jesus but he does live inside me through the Holy Spirit.
I personally have built up many battle scars. And believe me, being a Christian does not mean our wounds do not hurt, actually it is the opposite. Sometimes our wounds hurt on a deeper level than most. Some of the most painful things I have experienced is fellow Christians poking my wounds rather than providing healing. For it is encouragement, affirmation, love, compassion, acceptance and prayer that heals our battle wounds and will allow us to once again enter the darkness to be a light unto the world.
I have been ask by my husband, why? Why go through all this? For we do not earn our salvation rather God’s grace through Jesus is free. My husband is correct, we do not earn our salvation but when I meet my father in heaven I do not want him to look at me and say “my child look at you, you made yourself perfect through your own power.” No I want my Heavenly Father to say “my child, look at you. You have so many scars from all the souls you saved in my name, let me take those scars from you my faithful servant.”