So one of my little dogs is disabled. She does not see well and she is neurologically not like any other dog I have ever meet. It is very interesting to watch her because she is so care free, happy and oblivious to dangers around her. Similarly it is impossible to train her because she just does not get it. We have accepted that this is just the way she is and will always be. She is the perfectly imperfect Itsy. This of course gives me anxiety because I could see her literally walking us to a hungry lion and trying to cuddle with it. So I have started saying that she lives in the world of Itsy. It is the world she is able to comprehend and understand based on her limited neurological capacity. This reminds me so much of myself because I also live in my own world. All humans live in our own world that is constrained by our own limited knowledge, understanding, capacity and circumstances.
When I was a child and hungry for answers I asked my coach a question that she could not answer. I do not remember the question but knowing me it was probably a question that no one could answer. I may not remember the question but I remember the answer. She told me that your pet cat only understands that their care giver gives them love, food, water and safety. They cannot understand that their are other cats in China or that their is a solar system, moon and stars because it is not in the cats capacity to understand the world at large. Our relationship with God is similar, we will never understand everything because it is not in our capacity. This was told to me roughly 20 years ago and I still remember it so I obviously had an impact.
My capacity to understand God and the world has grown as I have become an adult and it still continues to grow but I am also reminded that I will always have a limited capacity. It is this knowledge that I to live in a “world of Itsy” that gives me humility. It also allows me to tell others, “I do not know” and be more open to others view points. For I do not understand it all so how am I to judge someone else that also does not have it all together.
Furthermore my limited understanding of the world is often what reminds me of my need to have faith in trust in Jesus. I may not know everything or understand everything but Jesus does. Similarly if God truly is just, he is able to judge each individual based on their capacity to understand and capacity to have faith in Jesus. I think this is absolutely remarkable. For we live in a world that theoretically judges every individual equally based on a set of laws and regulations. But God is bigger than all that for he knows the heart and mind of each individual and can judge us based on each individuals capacity.
I recently told my husband that part of our relationship with God is coming to understand our own individual capacity so that we can live up to that gifting and then having faith and trust that God can do the rest. For we all have limits, boundaries, capacities of which we cannot exceed but God can for he has no limit. For to the disciples Jesus said we would do even greater things than he.